Connect Me

Friday, June 10, 2016

A Letter for Myself

I'm here,

After almost a year, I'm back here, decided to write myself a letter.
This is definitely the hardest post to compose, the most heavy hearted letter for myself.
It's been a long journey for me myself to stand here.
How should I start? Seems like lots of missing pieces & bits all over the place.
I wish I could start to gather back myself, find back the happy me.

Yes, my life changed. The end of 7 years relationship, 6 months marriage, never been an easy thing for me. I have keep all these to myself, not until I'm comfortable to share to the public.

For the past 7 years, we learnt and we grow. Who will thought that we will end up like now? Not saying it's a good thing, but definitely I'm learning. We come to an agreement that we accepting things doesn't work out, we both are struggling & we both are not happy. With the situation like this, we tried our very best to rescue, we tried everything we could do to make things work. I have no regret for that, it's just felt wasted.

At first, I blamed myself that I couldn't keep myself within this relationship, he blamed himself couldn't keep the girl he loved beside him. All I see is sadness, hurtful & darkness in our future, hence I decided to pull a stop.

It's the toughest decision I have ever made. It's a hurtful decision for both of us.

Things won't be smooth, lots of struggle & lots of tears. I couldn't say it's all worth it, but I do felt relief. It's like a big stone off from my shoulder, finally I can breath.

I'm not denying that I don't love him anymore, I still love him, I still care about him. But he is more like my family, that I wouldn't mind to have him for the rest of my life, as my mentor, as my listener, as a person my child will look up to. I will care for him, I will feel proud on his success & most important I wish him be happy.

For now, things are still very fresh, we cut off all our connection, so we both can be calm, we both can have cleared mind. But I believe, one day in future, we can talk like friend, like family, I wish.

I do appreciate respect from family & friends, give us some time, we definitely need time to recover. Try not to ask so much on what happen, why or how, as for myself, I have no idea on what happen or how either. Bare with us, or me.


Friday, August 29, 2014

Recent Summary of My Life

Recently, life have been tough to me. Firstly is hectic work life, Sunnyboy got sicks and suspected dengue, continue me got all the rashes and in the end we realized is just some kind of virus infection. Then we got robbed at restaurant that serving Korean food, this I will explain further. Then Sunnyboy’s aunt got into car accident, his cousin broke his arm, our house loan got tons of problem to settle. All these are driving me crazy. One night, before I fall asleep, I seriously feel like to just book a ticket and fly oversea, so I can just temporary run away from all these. But then I realized that is not a mature way to solve problem, sigh. Should have go to the temple and pray more.

Summary of my life recently,

#1 random selfie right after I got my fish eye lens
 #2 had Casablanca Egg at Jibby & co Subang Empire, it taste sooo good.
#3 celebrate Sunnyboy & me anniversary at Helipad Lounge bar at Menara KH
#4 meet my pretty and cute colleague
#5 helping my friend adopted a naughty boy, Toby
#6 as usual, Sunnyboy cooks dinner for me
#7 random selfie, random enough
#8 delicious Crepe & Bacon at LOKL Jalan H.S Lee
#9 decided to ride an aeroplane during Raya holiday as a father’s day present
#10 mummy is so impress with my new camera
#11 you can know that Sunnyboy enjoy the ride
#12 daddy is so nervous throughout the fly

I know all these haven’t even summaries everything but at least I tried right. Till next time. xx Genie Love.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Talking About The Accident I Meet Recently

Story starts like this, me, Sunnyboy, sis and Sunnyboy's cousin, 4 of us went to a Korean restaurant located at Mentari Sunway near to the Shell petrol station. It is a corner shop facing the main road, I never had any unsafe feeling whenever I went there. That day as usual, we choose to sit in the middle of the shop, we order and we eat. Sunnyboy and me is facing the outside while sis and cousin is facing the inside.

Around 9pm, there are around 5 to 6 tables of people having dinner there, suddenly, a man with dark green mask walk in, holding a parang, garb the lady’s bag from the first table, and walk to our table and grab sis & cousin’s bag. I’m the one who notice first and shout to the man, he just ignore me and turn over, walk outside. Sunnyboy stand up continue with the lady from the first table, her boyfriend also stand up try to run and grab back the bag. But, the man turn over and show us his parang. So who the hell dare to fight with him? We all just stood there and look at him walk away with our bag.

Last time, I have heard before some case happen at Cheras area which they rob those mamak store or steamboat shop, which from my understanding all these are out door restaurant. But this time, through my own eyes, the man actually walk in into a proper shop and rob. So what the hell is wrong to this world?

So I learnt something here, this world is really sick. Some people just don’t like to use their god gifts (brain) to think a proper way to earn money. Does this can last you forever?

Honestly, until now, every night before I sleep, the robber’s face still appear in my mind, those eyes, mask and gesture. Scary enough to haunt me forever. I seriously hope one day I can forget all these and be a happy girl again, but no, reality is reality, we have to face it. I start to miss the innocent & brave self. Going through this, I seriously felt that sometimes something happens, we just can’t do anything. For the past week, I felt so helpless, I felt pointless to work hard.

But we all are adult, we should face all these in an adult way, I guess this is what we called mature. Stay strong and wealthy, so you have the ability to create an environment that you feel safe. Till then, xx Genie Love.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Triangl Swim Suit

Triangl swim suit, also known as bikini. Initially I have doubts when purchasing it because the price is not cheap, including the shipping fee, it cost me a bomb. But once I received the parcel, I’m truly satisfied with the quality. It is neoprene material so it doesn’t see through when it get wet, a big relief for me. The extra bonus is, it comes with a same neoprene bag, where it is very useful for girls. As you all know, girls have lots of things need to bring together even though is just swimming. So big clap for Triangl, such as an awesome combination. Now I can enjoy my sun, beach and holiday!

This is not a sponsor post, is just another great purchase that I would like to share with you all. For more enquiries on details and ways to purchase, you may go to Triangl’s website to find out more. xx LoveGenie

Sunday, June 1, 2014

I'm Back & Stay!

Hi all, I’m back to this space, my very own space. It’s been a while since my last blog post, because you know why? Sometime things just changed, the pure feeling of writing in this space changes too. Me myself doubt, doubt that isn’t this is what I’ve searching for after all? So, I stop! I told myself that I’ll be back one day when I find myself again. After all, stop doesn’t mean I give up, it is just a rest.

I spent a few days to writing down all these, sounds like some emo bitch huh? But no, I’m not, instead, I’m quite happy for the current status of my life, I choose to quit the previous job, spend almost a month at home doing nothing. Some say I’m quite stupid, “why want to quit such a great & high pay job? Why not quit until you found another job?” Even my parents have doubt on my decision. At first, I’m shaken, I’m lost indeed. I choose to cry every day at night doubting myself “isn’t all this is the right decision?” Keep on repeat, repeat and repeat. By the time, I know there is no one in this world understands my heart more than me myself, even my boyfriend. But just, sometimes people tend to stuck in the ass hole and all they can see is the dark sky. That is what I experienced. Sigh…

One day, after all the crying AGAIN, a thought like a light bulb pops! I wonder why I have to care about others opinion when it’s my own life. Why I doubt myself when I felt there is where my heart wants to goes to? I want my life to be happy, but not suffer, not crying and realizing problem is still unsolved. Fuck that stupid common sense, so I TENDERRED!

It’s like a big stone dropped and my heart feels like flying all over again. I always felt very grateful that I was born in a financial stable family so I had no worry on money problem, I can do whatever I want actually. But I’m not a bitch tho, I still felt I have certain responsibility to my parents, so I give myself a time frame, after that, I can’t be such stubborn bitch anymore.

I take my own sweet time, lying on bed, starring at the blue sky, enjoy the time with my dog, spend lots of time chit chatting with my boyfriend and of course read lots of books. All these are what I dreamt to do but I don’t have the time to accomplish after all these years. My boyfriend and I, we talked a lot, we understand what we want for our future, *I know it’s too soon to talk all these but we do it when we just feel like to. we found our similarity thoughts towards our future. He wishes to have a landed house, buy another dog to accompany Fluffy, the house must be landed because doggie can run around, have a nice kitchen, able to cook everyday for each other *we likes to cook a lot. , own a high pay job and a great car. Indeed, these are yet a simplest dream for everyone but also the hardest to make it comes true. However, we believe ourselves, we know we can. And I personally felt this is the turning point in my life, where I truly felt I’ve grown up, I start to worry about lots of things that I’m not use to think when I’m little.

This is a long blog post, sorry if I bored you all. Just that I felt I had the responsibility to write down everything here when maybe there are some loyalty readers here? Perhaps?

So what I’ve been up to recently? Of course, I’m done with all the doubts; I found another great job, started working and so far so good. It’s a big company, colleague all are great, benefits are awesome and I felt right here. *my boss must be very happy to see this. Hah. But, sometimes I do think back, why am I having all those negative energy on a person that doesn’t worth all my attention? Haters gonna hate, bitches are forever bitches, so whatever. I proved that I can have better life without them interrupting is more than enough for me. *so generous huh? #justsaying

So yes, I’m done with this post, these summaries what had happen after all the missing-in-action. Hope that you all do miss me a little, and I’m happy to tell u all, I’m back. Back to this space, back to my happy life. 

Loves Genie xx